


Dream or Reality

by HangonIknowthisone



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I might add more?? later, not sure yet - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-21 07:55:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16572671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HangonIknowthisone/pseuds/HangonIknowthisone
Summary: As a child, Harry had dreams of a man in a dark room. This man was always kind to him, telling him stories of his parents before he woke up again. But as he got to his third year, he found that his dreams may have some truth to them.





	1. Chapter 1: Cupboard Time

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this was originally on fanfic.net but I decided to shift it over. I've been without a laptop for a while so I haven't updated it in a while :') I probably will, but not too soon as I'm currently playing catch up with uni work - who knew procrastination can come back to bite you in the ass??  
> Also, I've left all my drafts back home around 5 hours away and I'm not gonna get them back until christmas break :') but as soon as I do I'm gonna work on chapter 5, so there's that. I'm gonna leave that real vague though - don't want to make any promises that people hold me to.  
> Also, I shift between movie and book canon constantly because I wrote this in between lessons in A level and I didn't have either at hand; so the canon here is basically anything that I can remember. Very sorry if that bugs you but you'll get over it.  
> This is un-beta'd too, so if there's any mistakes feel free to ream me for it in the comments and I may take notice of them and change it.  
> Anyway, I'll shut up now :)  
> Oh, 'words like this' are in their heads - I don't know to italicize words :')

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update: Gonna go ahead and italicize those thoughts now.

* * *

 

Harry had strange dreams sometimes.

When he was little, his dreams transported him to a dark, cold room not unlike his cupboard. In the room, there was a man. He was always dirty and really thin. He didn't seem to notice much, either. But the first time Harry dreamed about him, the man looked up. And the smile he wore completely transformed his face; it no longer looked tortured but full of hope, of life.

"James?" He whispered that first time. Poor Harry just shook his head; he had no idea who this James was.

"No, I'm Harry. Just Harry." He said sweetly, holding out his hand. The ragged man just sat there and stared at him for a moment before the tears started to run down his face. There was something heart-wrenchingly beautiful about seeing him cry to Harry. It seemed as if each of his tears carried with them a small piece of his sorrow, until his smile finally held some happiness.

"No, of course you are. Harry... My little Pronglet. I haven't seen you since you were this big." And he held his palms out, demonstrating how big Harry was when he last saw him.

"How do you know, mister? And what's a pronglet?" The widening of his adorable green eyes seemed to have lit a spark in the man, for you couldn't tell that he was so gaunt at a glance; he seemed almost healthy again.

"I'm your godfather, Harry. Merlin, it's been- Hang on; how are you here? How did you get here?!"

"I-I don't know, sir. I was asleep in my cupboard, and then I was here." Poor Harry didn't know what had caused the alarm in the man's voice; after all, it was only a dream.

"P-Pardon me, mister, but isn't this only a dream?"

"A dream? Oh, Harry, I really wish it was; you have no idea..." And then the man and the room started to faded away. This saddened Harry as he didn't want the man to leave; he was only the person who hadn't looked at him like something that you found at the bottom of a pond.

"No, no! Harry, please!" The man was crying again. This time, though, the tears weren't beautiful. They were sad, so sad. They made him cry, too, huge tears.

"Please, just- just a bit more time, please!" And the a harsher voice spoke up from beyond the darkness of the rapidly blurring cell - for Harry knew that that was where he found himself.

"Quiet, Black. Or do you want to see the Dementors again that desperately?" Harry didn't like this new voice; it seemed to scare the kind man. He tried to yell at the person, but found he couldn't speak. He looked down at his hands, but couldn't see them; he supposed he was waking up now. And that was a thought that filled him with dread.

_No, I want to stay._

He clenched his eyes shut, and when he next opened them he was staring at the dusty ceiling of his cupboard.

* * *

A month or two later, Harry went to bed and awoke to find himself in the cell again. The man was still there, only this time he was pacing back and forth, saying something about killing a rat.

"I don't like rats, they have scaly tails. A girl at school brought one in once."

Harry's sentence seemed to have startled the man, for he let out a yell and whirled around. Upon seeing Harry, his tired and sunken face split open into a genuine smile that seemed to de-age him by quite a few years.

"Harry! You're here again!"

"Hello again. I'm sorry, sir, but I still don't know your name."

"Oh, um- it's Sirius. Sirius Black."

"Huh, You have a weird name." Harry's face broke into a smile, which only served to further widen Sirius'.

"Cheeky bugger. You can call me Padfoot if you want."

"Why would I do that?" Harry's voice held that curious lilt to it that all children seem to have before they reach a certain age. It seemed to bring forth a mischievous spark in Sirius, because he winked and in place was -

"A doggy!" A childish laugh full of delight rang about the room, lighting it up. The dog was large and black, with shaggy fur that had a remarkable resemblance to Sirius's hair. The dog - Padfoot, his mind supplied - barked at him and ran in a circle before jumping up and placing its paws on his shoulders. Padfoot's eyes seemed to grow unbearably sad for a moment, so, in response, Harry encircled the dog with his arms and hugged him tight.

They stood there for a few seconds before sinking to the ground, Harry still wrapped around Padfoot, his right hand stroking up and down his back. He felt happy in that moment; like he had a family.  
He barely registered the shift underneath him as dog turned back into human, until he was jolted back into the present by skinny arms encircling him in a hug just as fierce as his own.

They were both crying, he realised. Harry didn't want Sirius to be sad, so he sat back, wiped his tears and said, with a tremulous tone, "D-Did you know my parents, Sirius? It's just, I don't know much about them; Aunt Petunia won't tell me."

"Petunia? How in the name of Merlin did you end up with that sorry excuse for a human being?" Sirius's voice was laced with disgust before he seemingly registered the rest of the question.

"Yes, I knew your parents Harry. Your dad was my best mate, back at school. Him, me, Remus and... And then there was your mother, Lily Evans. Your dad- James- always said that she was the most beautiful witch he had ever seen. She had long red hair that he used to just sit and stare at during classes... And her eyes, well, you've seen them before."

"I-I have? Where?" Harry didn't remember ever seeing his mother before. Maybe in a photograph?

"In the mirror, Harry. You have your mother's eyes. And you look like a mini James."

These two pieces of information made Harry light up like a pixie; he looked like his parents. For some reason that he didn't know, this fact filled him with pride. To know that he had inherited something from his parents, something so precious that only he could have...  
And then the room grew blurry again.  
_No!_ , he tried to shout. _I don't want to leave yet!_

"It's okay Harry. I'm pretty sure that you'll come back. When you do, I'll tell you all I can about your parents, okay?" Sirius smiled sadly, a tear trailing down his face.

And then he was gone again.

* * *

Sirius kept to his word. For the next few years, Harry would visit in his dreams and Sirius would tell him stories about his parents, about the school that they went to, the magic- that he himself had!- and the first time that Sirius held him as a baby- "Merlin, you so were small, I was scared of breaking you!"

And when Harry spent his first night in Hogwarts, he awoke to Sirius trying to whistle something.

"Sirius! Sirius, I'm at Hogwarts now! It's brilliant, just like you said." Harry knew he was grinning like an idiot, but he knew Sirius didn't care.

"Harry, that's great! Now, do you remember all of those pranks I told you about?" Sirius' voice had taken on a mock serious tone, with a playful light to them.

"Uh huh!"

"Excellent. We must plan now..."

And when Harry woke up with a positively evil grin, his fellow Gryffindors felt that it was safer to slowly back away and hide.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I now know how to italicize words... you just change the format. Please don't yell at me. So now the italicized stuff is talking inside their heads :).
> 
> Oh yeah, and I've jumped ahead to the end of the 2nd year because I didn't want to stretch this out with all the canon stuff. I am gonna deviate and do my own thing eventually.

* * *

 

When Harry eventually let Sirius in on the events of his second year after the end of year feast, Sirius was (understandably) furious.

"You had no business charging off into the Chamber of bloody Secrets! With no teacher, might I add. No, all you had was a fellow second year and a buggering idiot for a Defense teacher! Do you have any common sense?!..."

It carried on this way for most of the dream until Sirius ran out of steam and flopped inelegantly onto the foggy floor.

Now the anger had drained away from his face Harry could see the lingering panic and terror that was left behind.

"I'm sorry that I made you worry, but Sirius, I was the only that  _could_  open the door. Even if I hadn't of gone down there I'd still be involved." Harry tried to explain as sat next to Sirius and leaned against his arm.

Sirius lowered his hands from where they'd been covering his face and sighed, shifting slightly so he could look at Harry, making said boy readjust and half-lay in his lap.

"I know Harry. But you would have gone down there anyway, wouldn't you? A 12 year old with a hero complex... You're an odd one aren't you?"

Harry smiled up at him and hugged him around the waist.

 _This kid_...

"You know, after whacking around the head with a broom, your parents would've been so proud of you. James would boast about you to other dads, going on and on about how 'my son killed a basilisk with a  _sword_ and  _survived._  I do believe yours can still barely read. Point, James!' And Lily would smack him but she'd be smug too. A few people doubted that they'd be able to raise you right, considering how young they were; but look at how you turned out. They would've been brilliant."

Sirius glanced down to see Harry smiling sleepily and nuzzling into his leg a bit. It was that time already, huh?

"See you soon Harry. And don't worry – summer will fly by, you'll see."

He threaded his fingers through Harry's hair and smiled gently down at him as fell asleep again. During moments like these, he felt warm for the first time in years; he felt younger, more alive...

... Only for it to be torn away from him as Harry faded away and his cell came back into focus. Any trace of warmth left from the visit dissipated into the air, leaving him cold once more.

The dementors could always sense a trace of happiness within him when he woke up and were always there to steal it away.

But he wasn't as mentally weak as he had been for the 10 years before he'd seen Harry again. Knowing what Harry has been going through in his absence, both at his aunt and uncle's and at Hogwarts, had increased the anger he already felt toward that rat.

Slowly but surely, his mind's defenses were getting stronger. He was lucid for longer hours of the day and could hold on to a solid train of thought for about 5-10 minutes. It was only a matter of time,; as if he was going to leave his godson out there with  _them_...

And then the Minister for Magic came to Azkaban and allowed him to read his newspaper. And there he was, perched on the shoulder of a young Weasley boy. A young Weasley boy who was attending Hogwarts with Harry.

The wall of fiery anger that had been steadily growing built up and up, until he was emitting a growl reminiscent of Padfoot.

"Did he really think he would get away with this? That no one would figure it out?! Big mistake, Wormtail, quite possibly your last mistake..."

He was absolutely livid. The magic that had been locked away inside of his body for 12 years began furiously pushing at the wall that contained it. It took a few days of constant pushing until, at last, it cracked. After the initial crack, more and more spread throughout the wall; it was steadily breaking down under the onslaught of raw magical fury. All that was left was dust and an empty cell.

That night Sirius didn't sleep; he doggy-paddled his way to shore with one thought on loop in his mind (the same thought that he'd been muttering to himself feverishly for the past few days).

_He's at Hogwarts..._


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if there any plot holes you can see then lemme know and I'll only cry a lil' bit, promise.

* * *

 

The door slamming shut behind him shook Harry from his anger-induced haze. Looking around at the darkened street, he began trudging along at a stilted pace.

 _I really didn't mean to_ , he thought to himself mulishly. _Sh_ _e just made me so angry. Could've been worse, I suppose. She could have said something about Sirius..._

Earlier in the summer Harry had accidentally mentioned Sirius while watching the news about an escaped convict who shared the same name. His aunt had happened to be within hearing distance and he had never seen her face turn so white so quickly (bar their visit from Hagrid two years ago). Finding out that his aunt and uncle had known about Sirius, knew what he was to Harry, and had never told him (while unsurprising) made him livid. The ensuing shouting match had the neighbours calling the police on them for disturbing the peace and Harry was locked in his room for half of August.

Huffing, he turned another corner and sat down on the curb to try and gather his wits.

"Come on, Harry - WWHD; what would Hermione do? Well, Hermione wouldn't have blown up her aunt for starters..." He grinned wryly to himself, but winced when he imagined the inevitable verbal punishment he'd receive once Hermione found out. _She may even hit me this time._

It was quite cold for a summer night, and as the cold seeped through his jacket and trousers Harry really started to worry. What, in the name of Merlin, was supposed to do now?

He stood up and started to pace back and forth, shaking his head at every discarded thought. _I_ _could fly to the Leaky Cauldron; what's another bit of underage magic? The Ministry's probably already after me, so a lightening charm can't hurt..._

He set that idea to the back of his (very small) list of ideas, marking it as a last resort.

Another twenty minutes went by and he still hadn't thought of anything better. Just as he had sighed and raised his wand towards his trunk to perform the charm, he heard a rustling noise from behind him.

He glanced over his shoulder and turned slightly. The light from a flickering street lamp caught against two somethings in the dark gap between a row of bushes and a garage. Harry stared into the shadowy blackness for a minute, trying to discern what the glinting was, when it moved - toward him, to be exact.

 _What the..._ He thought. _Alth_ _ough, considering my life so far, this is kind of underwhelming._  He mused to himself as he turned fully in the direction of the glinting somethings.

And then, the glinting somethings rose higher than he was and picked up the pace. Just as Harry was about to turn and run, the glinting somethings passed underneath a street lamp, illuminating the silhouette of a man. A very familiar man.

"Sirius?" Harry whispered, not quite daring to believe it. He's only recently found out that his godfather was actually recent, having received visual confirmation from his aunt, and not something he's conjured up but he didn't actually expect to see him  **here** _._

It had been a long time since he'd seen Sirius in a dream, and he'd been worrying non-stop for the whole summer.

As the man drew even closer, Harry could make out his features more clearly.

"Merlin, Sirius!" He strode forward and met him halfway, not sure if he should pull him into a hug or...?

Turns out he didn't need to choose. Sirius reached forward and wrapped Harry in a desperate hug, burying his face in Harry's hair. He was shaking; they both were.

After a while, Harry drew back and whacked him on the arm.

"Ouch, Harry! Merlin, what's- Stop bloody hitting me!" Sirius had caught one of Harry's hands and was trying in vain to reach the other to stop the onslaught of slapping he was receiving.

"You were in prison?! You were in prison and you didn't tell me! Sirius, what in the name of Merlin? Why were you in bloody prison?"

Breathing heavily, Harry stopped his attack and stepped back slightly. Sirius was staring at his eyes, watching as the sparks of anger and worry lit the green up from within. _Merlin, he's more like his mum than I thought. Not good for me_.

Sirius blew at a piece of hair dangling in his face and mentally prepared himself.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you where I was Harry. It's not like it would've changed anything, anyway."

"What do you mean 'wouldn't have changed anything'? I could have visited you, you prick!" Harry's eyes had lost a bit of their spark and were now beginning to glisten slightly as a few tears of frustration started to well up.

"Visited?" Sirius snorted. "They wouldn't have let you visit Harry, trust me. I was high security." He spat out the last part, staring up at the stars bitterly.

"High security? Blimey Sirius, what'd you  _do?_ " Harry was starting to feel a bit desperate now. He knew his godfather and honestly couldn't believe that he'd done anything that bad.

"I trusted the wrong person." Sirius wandered over to the curb and sat down heavily, sighing and tugging at his hair.

"Listen Harry, we don't have much time. I'm running, and there's a fuck-tonne of security charms placed around here -" He cut himself off abruptly, staring at Harry's trunk in confusion.

"Harry, why's your trunk out here? More to the point, why're you out here?"

Harry's cheeks coloured and he bit his lip, mumbling his reply.

"Sorry, didn't catch that Harry. Speak up a bit." Sirius' tone had gained a falsely cheerful hint to it, covering the stern edge; it made him nervous.

"I, er, I may have blown up my aunt." His voice grew steadily faster and quieter, rushing his sentence, until he whispered out the last word. Harry glanced at Sirius, sinking down to the pavement as well.

Sirius was... well, surprised.

"You blew up Petunia? Merlin's beard, Harry!"

"N-No! Not aunt Petunia. Uncle Vernon's sister, Marge." He spat out her name, as if the very word left an acidic taste in his mouth.

Sirius shuddered, trying to block out the mental image that had popped up in his head. 'Female Vernon.'

"What the bloody hell did you do that for?"

"She said things. Things about mum and dad." Harry would have said what they were but cut himself off when Sirius' face grew darker and he growled. Sirius glanced down the road in the direction of Privet Drive.

Catching on to what Sirius was thinking, Harry said quickly, "She's not there anymore Sirius. She's, well ... She's around. Somewhere." He stared up at the sky pointedly and grinned slightly as Sirius barked out a laugh.

"Wait, so why are you out here?"

"I did underage magic. After last year, the Ministry said I'd be expelled if I did that again. Besides, I'm not exactly very wanted back there at the moment." _Or ever,_ he thought to himself sourly.

Sirius looked over at him and shook his head.

"Look at us. Both on the run from the Ministry... Lily would have our hides, I hope you know." He tried to lighten the mood after he saw Harry's face fall when he mentioned getting expelled. "Besides, you're the Boy-Who-Lived; like they're going to expel you. Trust me Harry, you'll be going back to Hogwarts. Dumbledore wouldn't let you get expelled for this." He smiled as he saw Harry's face lift, but cursed himself internally when his head snapped over to him, indignation painted across his face.

"You're stalling!" He pointed an accusatory finger at Sirius. "You still haven't told me why you were in prison."

He stared at Sirius expectantly and lowered his finger. Sirius sighed, again.

"Alright Harry, but this'll have to be a rushed version, okay? Have you ever heard of the Fidelius Charm?" When Harry shook his head he carried on.

"It can hide anything. So long as the Secret Keeper stays quiet about the location of whatever it is they're hiding, then no one can find it. It's how we hid you, Lily and James. Dumbledore cast the charm on the house and they made me Secret Keeper. But a week before they died, I had an idea. I knew that I was the obvious choice for Secret Keeper, so I thought, why not use someone they'd never suspect."

He glared angrily at nothing and paused before swallowing and moving on.

"Moony was off on a mission for the Order, so I told James to switch to P- to Wormtail. I thought it was the perfect plan. Until, of course, I went to check on him. He'd been absent for the last few meetings and no one had heard from him, so I went to his hide-out to check on him. Only it was empty. Next place I went to was yours. Almost crashed my bike five times. When I saw it, I knew. I knew what that rat had done."

Sirius had to take a minute to breathe, anger bubbling at his surface. Once he'd calmed down enough, he continued on.

"So I chased after him. Left my bike and followed his apparation trail. When I finally caught up to him he yelled out how I had betrayed James and Lily, blew up the street behind us, cut off his finger and ran away. I was charged with the murder of thirteen muggles, one wizard, and for conspiring with Voldemort."

He looked over at Harry, who'd stayed pretty quiet all through his recount.

"How did he escape by cutting off his finger?"

"I told you about how I can turn into a dog. He can do the same, but he turns into a rat. He cut off his finger to make it look like I blew him up too." Sirius was shaking again; he hated thinking about his mistake, let alone talking about it.

Harry could see how upset Sirius was after talking about it, so he shifted the topic slightly. "So how'd you escape then? Wouldn't there be wards to stop you from leaving?"

"I transformed. The prison guards are blind, you see. They detect the prisoners through their emotions, but a dog's are less complex. It confused them for long enough to let me slip out. And now here I am."

Harry contemplated that silently for a minute before he picked up on a slight flaw.

"But why didn't you do that sooner?"

"Along with detecting emotions, they sort of suck all the happiness from the place. Leaves the prisoners weak and blocks off most of your magic. But anger - they can't take that. They feed off of positive emotions, and that isn't positive. But it's not really wholly negative either. It's strong though, and I've been building up my anger for twelve years."

They stayed pretty quiet after that, both jumping when a cat knocked over a bin.

Harry was reeling from the information he'd just gotten. No one else would tell him about that night, bar what Hagrid had told him when they first met two years ago. He'd had no idea that his parents had died because someone had betrayed them. If he hadn't told...

"Harry, I need to leave pretty soon. The Ministry will be close to tracking me. But listen, I'm definitely going to see you again this year. I have some unfinished business at Hogwarts. Do you reckon you can do me a favour?"

"Depends, I suppose. What d'you need?"

"Look out for any rats."

Harry was confused at first, nut then remembered what Sirius had told him about Wormtail. He nodded, and leaned over for a hug, clinging to his godfather.

"You will see me again Harry, I promise. I won't be far. And if you wait by the Whomping Willow after sundown on your first day back you'll see me."

Harry just nodded again, throat thick from the effort of holding back tears.

Sirius stroked his hand through Harry's hair before stepping back and smiling slightly. He was about to turn back into Padfoot and start for Hogwarts before he remembered something and turned back to Harry, who was standing there looking slightly lost.

"Where're you planning on going now?"

"I was going to fly to the Leaky Cauldron and stay there for the rest of the summer." Except that he couldn't now, could he? He needed to be at Hogwarts for his third year, so he couldn't do anymore magic.

"You know, if you stick out your wand once I'm gone, you'll be to take the Knight bus. Bit bumpy, but always fun."

His smile widened partially as Harry, confused, nodded at him and started to raise his wand arm.

"No, no! Once I've gone! I don't fancy getting caught again just right now."

Harry flushed slightly and kept his wand at his side, watching Sirius.

"Goodbye, Harry. I'll see you soon."

"Definitely."

Sirius' smile widened a it more, and then a great big, shaggy black dog stood in his place. I barked once and then turned back to the dark gap and began running.

"See you, Padfoot." Harry whispered to himself, before raising his wand and flinching back at the loud **BANG** that rang through the night.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lemme know if I missed any mistakes, like words that should be others words and are just missing a letter. Or a thought that wasn't italicized.

* * *

 

During the weeks after he separated from Sirius and rented a room at the Leaky Cauldron, Harry was battling with himself. Mentally, that is. He couldn't decide when, or if, he was going to tell Ron and Hermione about Sirius - the truth, along with the dreams.

"What if they don't believe me? What if they think I'm crazy?" He muttered to himself one night, curling up into a ball.

He had hated keeping it a secret from his friends for the last two years, and he hadn't known for definite that the dreams-and Sirius- were real then. Now he did and the urge to tell them was stronger than it had ever been.

Sighing, he unfurled himself from his ball and splayed out on the bed, gazing out of the window at the moon.

"Telling them might put Sirius in danger, but they're my best friends; I trust them, and they deserve to know."

Harry held on to that thought and promised himself that he'd tell them as soon as he could, before finally drifting off to sleep.

The rest of his summer drifted by in a pleasant haze. On the last day he met Ron and Hermione in Diagon Alley outside of Florean Fortescue's ice cream parlour, and enjoyed dinner with the rest of the Weasley's at the Leaky Cauldron.

The next day, before he boarded the train he was pulled aside by Mr. Weasley, who wanted to warn him about the danger he was in because of Sirius Black. It took a vast amount of effort to try and keep a fake-worried mask on his face. Underneath that, he was giddy - he would be seeing Sirius again after having to say goodbye a few weeks ago.

He was practically skipping when he only just managed to board the train. Hermione glanced at him oddly before writing off his strangely happy behaviour and leading the hunt for a compartment.

Eventually, they found a semi-empty compartment that housed one sleeping Professor R. J. Lupin.

Harry took in a deep breathe, remembering the decision he'd come to during the summer.

"Sit down, I have to tell you something."

He checked that the corridor was (mostly) empty before he shut the door and sat down.

_Come on, they deserve to know._

_Just spit it out._

"You know that Sirius Black escaped from prison recently, yeah?"

He received a few confused nods accompanied by slightly dark looks. This was a lot harder than he'd thought it would be.

"Okay, so... How would you react if I told you that I knew him?"

As expected, their eyes widened in shock and incredulity.

"But Harry, how could you possibly know him? He was sent to prison when you were a baby!" Hermione tried to reason, Ron nodding along with what she'd said.

"I know, and how I know him... It's complicated." Harry was beginning to feel slightly agitated now; he just couldn't find the right words. _Why is telling the truth so hard?_

"Complicated how, mate? Come on, you can tell us. I mean, it's us."

Harry smiled at that and breathed in, trying to organise his jumbled thoughts.

"Promise not to interrupt me, okay? I'll most likely lose my train of thought." Hermione and Ron both nodded again in agreement.

"Ever since I was little, I don't remember exactly how old I was, I've had dreams. And in the dreams was a man that I'd never met while awake. At first, I didn't he was real. Hell, I still wasn't sure until a few weeks ago. But he said he knew my parents and he told me stories about them and the pranks that him and his friends pulled - the Marauders."

He chuckled at the memory and, unbeknownst to him, the man in the corner twitched at his words.

"He cheered me up when I was sad and wished me a happy birthday; he was the only that ever did. I found out that he was my godfather a couple of years ago. My dad managed to talk mum into it. He told me what my first word was - Moony - and how dad used to get me to sleep. He's the closest thing I've ever had to a real dad."

Harry paused and looked up, trying to gauge their reactions. Hermione looked skeptical, but she small, sad smile on her face. Ron was frowning slightly, but nodded at him to continue.

"A few weeks ago, I accidentally blew up my aunt Marge and -"

"What?!" They both exclaimed, and then quickly turned to look at Lupin. He was still breathing evenly so they turned back to Harry and continued to talk in quiet, rushed voices.

"Harry, how could you blow up your aunt?!"

"Bloody brilliant, mate! How'd you pull that off?"

Hermione looked stricken and elbowed Ron for his comment. Ron winced but still looked greatly amused at this new development in the story.

"Look, that doesn't matter, -" "Doesn't matter!" "- it's what comes after that does!"

They both piped down and returned to their seats, staring at Harry expectantly.

"Right, thank you. So, after I  **accidentally** , _"_ he enunciated specifically, looking at Hermione pointedly, "blew up my aunt Marge I took off with my trunk. I wandered around the streets for a bit, trying to think of a place to go to and how to outrun the Ministry."

"Hold on, why'd you need to outrun the Ministry? They won't arrest you for accidental magic." Ron said, looking confused.

"They told me I'd be expelled if I did magic outside of school again, remember?"

"Like they'd expel you, Harry." Ron grinned and motioned with his hand for Harry to continue.

"Right, so after about twenty minutes or so, I stopped in a street and saw something across the road in a dark gap. And, well... I turned out to be- Sirius. And I thought I was going crazy until I remembered I'd seen him on the news a few days before that. We talked. A lot. He talked me into going to Leaky Cauldron and convinced me that I wouldn't be expelled. And he- he told me the truth. About why my parents died, I mean.

Hermione, have you ever heard of the Fidelius Charm before?"

"No, I haven't. Why?"

"It's how my parents hid us. It completely conceals whatever it is that it's hiding and the only person who knows about it and can see it is the Secret Keeper. They're also the only one who can tell other people about it."

Harry had to brace himself for this next part; his blood boiled every time he so much as thought about it.

"Sirius was their Secret Keeper - at the start. But he thought it'd be too obvious that it was him, so he convinced my parents to switch to someone less obvious - one of their other friends, Peter Pettigrew. And within a week of the switch, they died. Sirius knew what had happened, so he chased after Pettigrew. He managed to corner him in a muggle street, but Pettigrew started to yell about how Sirius betrayed my parents. Then he blew up the street, cut off his finger, and ran away. Sirius never got a trial."

Hermione still looked skeptical, and Harry could tell what she'd ask before she did.

"But Harry, how would cutting off his finger allow him to escape?"

"He was an Animagus. They all were - my dad, Sirius and Pettigrew. They did it to help their other friend and, because they were so young, they never registered so the Ministry didn't know that Pettigrew could change into a rat to escape - Wormtail."

He could tell that they were both still wary about it, but he didn't know how he could possibly convince them.

"Please, please believe me. Why would I lie about this?" He pleaded.

"I don't know, Harry, It's pretty far-fetched, don't you think? And anyway, how did he make it out of Azkaban if he didn't use dark magic?" Ron asked.

"What's Azkaban?"

"Wizarding prison. But that doesn't matter; did he tell you how he did it?"

"He transformed into a dog and swam back.From what he told me, the guards cause your magic to sort of hide away; it's still there, but you're so depressed that you can't really use it.

But he found out that Wormtail was still alive and in Hogwarts, and because it wasn't exactly a happy thought he was able to fixate on it and work on unlocking his magic. He said that a dog's emotions are less complex than a humans and, because the guards are blind, he was able to sneak out and swim to shore."

"How the hell did he figure out that Pettigrew was still alive and at Hogwarts?"

Harry shrugged. Sirius had been a little vague about that.

"He just told me to look out for rats that behaved strangely at Hogwarts, and that I'd see him soon."

"Wait, how are you going to see him? He's not coming to Hogwarts is he?" Hermione frowned.

"Look, if you still don't believe me then come with me to see him. You can find out for yourself."

Hesitantly, they both nodded and Harry grinned, relieved.

"Thanks guys."

"No problem mate. When -"

Ron was cut off when the train carriage came to an abrupt halt.

"We can't be there yet, it's too soon."

Ron went over to the window and peered out into the darkness. His eyes widened.

"There's something out there. I think - Harry, I think something's coming aboard!" He whispered. The glass frosted over as he spoke and the air gained a crisp chill.

Just then the carriage jolted again, waking up Crookshanks and Scabbers. They hissed and squeaked respectively before falling silent.

The door opened then, and two new voices came into the compartment - Ginny and Neville. After the initial confusion and fumbling in the dark, the talking quietened down and they were all trying to rub some feeling back into their fingers when the door began to slowly open again.

This time there was no familiar voice, just a a further drop in temperature and a hollow, rattling sound.

Harry tried to focus his eyes and just managed to make out a darker figure by the door before it happened. Every happy feeling, every happy memory - he couldn't find any. I felt like they'd disappeared and he had been dropped into an icy pool.

Despair filled every inch of the compartment as he tried desperately to cling to consciousness. But he could feel himself slipping, fading. And then, he heard it - a woman's voice, pleading.

**"No, not Harry, not Harry! Take me, Kill me instead!"**

He knew who that was; he had to help her, he had to, he had ... to...

A high-pitched scream filled his ears as his eyes dimly registered a bright glow before sliding shut.

When he regained consciousness, he was extremely shaky and embarrassed at having fainted.

"Harry! Harry, are you alright?" Hermione crouched down next to him and handed him his glasses, looking concerned.

"I'm fine, thanks. What was that thing?" He asked as he huddled up, trying to retain more body heat.

"It was a dementor, one of the guards of Azkaban. It was searching the train for Sirius Black." Came a new voice from his left. He looked over and saw Lupin, awake and offering him chocolate.

"It'll make you feel better, trust me. Now, if you'll excuse me I need to talk to the driver." He smoothed down his raggedy robes and walked to the door, smiling before he left.

Harry's mind was focused on something he's said.  _One of the guards of Azkaban._ How had Sirius put up with that for twelve years?!

"Are the rest of you okay? You didn't, you know, pass out or anything did you?"

Hermione shook her head from where she was sitting, slowly rubbing Ginny's back as she shivered.

"No, but I felt like I'd never be cheerful again. Like all the happiness had gone from the world." Ron looked more pale than usual, his freckles in stark contrast to the rest of his skin.

The shame that Harry felt rose as he learned that he was the only one that had fainted. _How pathetic is that?_  He thought bitterly, glancing at the ground and angrily biting at his chocolate.

The trip up to the castle after that wasn't a fun one. They all kept looking at Harry as if he was going to topple over at any time. It was made even worse when Malfoy started to taunt him for it.

"Just ignore him Harry. He was probably just as scared as everyone else." Hermione reassured him, glaring at Malfoy's retreating back.

"Yeah, but he didn't faint did he?" He retorted bitterly, trudging over to the castle.

They were just about to enter the Great Hall when Professor McGonagall swooped down on them and told Harry and Hermione to follow her. They waved goodbye to Ron and the others, and followed her past the swarm of students.

Harry spent the next ten minutes being worried over by Madame Pomfrey, furthering his shame for fainting. Once he was done he waited outside of the room while Hermione talked to Professor McGonagall. When she exited the room as well she was smiling in a satisfied way. They both made their way back to the Great Hall.

Upon entering the Hall, they found they'd just missed the Sorting. Ron had saved them a seat, so they rushed over to him just as Dumbledore started to list the start-of-term announcements.

"And I'm pleased to introduce to you Professor Remus Lupin, who has kindly agreed to take on the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher!" Dumbledore announced and the hall clapped politely.

Harry just sat there, staring up at Professor RemusLupin. _Moony?_

He had a feeling that this year was going to be even more complicated than the last.

**Author's Note:**

> Bare in mind that I wrote these in a rush in about 2 hours at school with people everywhere. And I don't like going back and editing my own stuff so it's all pretty rough :')


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